The Three Pillars: Planning Your Wedding in South West Nigeria

The day Ayodele proposed to Funmi was perfect. The air was thick with the scent of rain-dusted earth in Ibadan, and the “yes” was a whispered promise of a future brimming with Aṣọ-Ẹbí and dancing. But they both knew that in South West Nigeria, a proposal is just the prologue. The actual journey to matrimony is built on three essential pillars, each requiring its own unique blend of respect, planning, and celebration.

Phase 1: The Gathering of Roots—The Introduction

The first step is the Introduction. This is not a party; it is a deeply respected formal meeting of the two families. 

Funmi insisted it be held exactly where tradition dictated: her father’s modest, yet impeccably kept, home.

Ayodele’s family, led by his father, travelled from Lagos armed with traditional gifts: large kola nuts, a sizeable bag of salt, a bottle of fine wine and a big basket of fruits. His eldest sister was the mouthpiece of the family. 

The Planning: The focus here was entirely on logistics and presentation, not spectacle.

Funmi’s mother, Iya Funmi, took charge, making sure the sitting room was spotless, the generator was fueled, the inverter fully charged, and the refreshments—Moin-Moin, Jollof rice, and assorted drinks—were served promptly and politely.

Key Outcome: The families met, appraised each other, and, after much polite banter and prayers, gave their blessing. 

A date was set for the grand traditional wedding, and the list of compulsory gifts (the Ẹrù Ìyàwó) was presented to the groom’s family. The foundation of trust and respect was laid.

Phase 2: The Grand Ówàḿbẹ̀—The Traditional Wedding

Six months later, the intimate introduction gave way to spectacle. 

The Traditional Wedding often referred to simply as “The Engagement,” is the cultural heart of their union. 

It was decided that a spacious event centre in Ibadan would host the hundreds of guests. The newly built Idunnu Hall at Moniya was the natural choice. 

This was the day where colour and culture converged. Funmi was a vision in her custom-made coral beaded Ìpèlé and gold-embroidered Aṣọ-Òkè, perfectly matching Ayodele’s sharp Agbádá.

The Planning: This phase was a marathon of vendor coordination.

• The Venue: Booking Idunnu Hall, which has adequate parking & ambience, and choosing the type of chairs and decorations. 
• The Aṣọ-ẹbí: Coordinating the fabrics and colours for both families and close friends, a massive undertaking to ensure visual harmony.
• The Alagas (The Mistresses of Ceremony): Hiring the Alága Ìdúró (standing MC, from the bride’s side) and the Alága Ìjókòó (sitting MC, from the groom’s side) was crucial. Their witty, respectful, and energetic guidance ensured the demanding rituals—the reading of the letter, the prostrating of the groom and his friends, the payment of various “fines” and dowry items—were executed flawlessly and with great humour.
• Catering & Music: Securing a reputable caterer for the feast (more Jollof, Àmàlà, and roasted fish) and a vibrant live band (Jùjú or Fújì) to keep the dance floor packed until late into the night.

Key Outcome: The traditional rites were performed, the Ẹrù was accepted, and Funmi was formally handed over to Ayodele’s family. They were married in the eyes of their culture and community, concluding the day with the grandest Ówàḿbẹ̀ celebration.

Phase 3: The Covenant of Faith—The Religious Ceremony

The final pillar, the Church Wedding, was scheduled for the morning after the traditional ceremony. The previous day was about culture; this day was about faith.

Ayodele and Funmi exchanged the traditional Yoruba attire for modern, elegant white and black. The ceremony took place in their local parish, a sanctuary of peace after the joyful chaos of the night before.

The Planning: This was the simplest phase logistically, yet the most profound spiritually.

• Attire: Funmi’s white wedding gown and Ayodele’s tuxedo.
• Logistics: Ensuring the bridal party—who were exhausted from dancing—made it to the church on time for the early service.
• Solemnity: The focus shifted from the MC’s humorous commentary to the priest’s earnest prayers and counsel.

Key Outcome: Before God and the law, Ayodele and Funmi took their final vows. 

A final, smaller reception followed, but the true significance was the completion of their journey. They had honoured their roots, celebrated with their village, and dedicated their union to their faith. 

The three pillars were set, and the house of their marriage was built on a foundation as solid as the granite rocks of the ancient South West landscape.

The planning was exhausting, meticulous, and expensive, but standing there, hand-in-hand, Ayodele and Funmi knew every step—from the quiet introduction in the sitting room to the echoing vows in the cathedral—was indeed worth the effort.